~Realize You Are Responsible For Your Own Happiness~

When you realize that your happiness is something you are in charge of, you are no longer the victim of other people's actions or behaviors....
I have a good friend Rachel,whom I talk to about things that are happening in my life. She does the same with me. One day, I was very upset. I was mad at my ex-boyfriend and I really needed to talk to her about it. I called and left a few messages, but I didn't hear back from her until the end of the day. When she finally did call, she told me she had received my messages but had been too busy to call me back earlier. In the meantime, I had called my ex-boyfrend and tried to explain to him why he was making me so unhappy. He became annoyed. We ended the conversation on a bad note, and I was even more upset than I had been before.
In my mind, none of this would have happened if Rachel had just called me back earlier. It was all her fault. If I had been able to talk to her, I wouldn't have to call my ex-boyfrend and made a complete fool of myself. When I tried to explain this to Rachel, she got defensive and told me about all the times I hadn't been there for her when she needed me. Before long we were yelling at each other and then in one of my more mature moments, I hung up on her. I sat next to the phone and cried. Than i think to myslef *no one loves me.... I mean really loves me.They love me when I am helping them or giving them attention, but when I need something, FORGET ABOUT IT!!!*
Why pathetic? Because I was blaming everyone else for my unhappiness. It was Rachel's fault for not calling, it was my ex-boyfrend's fault for not understanding, it was my parents fault for not loving me enough to instill in me a healthy sense of self-esteem. And then I blamed myself. The reality of course, was there was no one at fault, just people learning lessons.
If I had remembered that I was reponsible for my own happiness, that day would have unfolded differently.
First of all, I am not a victim. Rachel not calling me back earlier was not about me. Rachel not calling me back wasn't the reason I felt unloved. Rachel not calling me back may have been the trigger, but the feeling of being unloved had been with me all along. When I don't feel loved by others, it has a lot to do with how much I love myself.
Second, the problem I was having with my ex-boyfrend came about because I was putting myself in the position of the victim. I started off looking at the situation like this....*He is doing something to me that is causing me to feel hurt. If I could get him to change his behaviour, then I wouldn't feel hurt. In other words, I was making my ex-boyfrend reponsible for my happiness. This gives him the power to make me happy or sad. And when he makes me sad than I am a victim..
When I remebered that I was not going to feel loved until I loved myself, I took back my power. I took responsibility for myself
Every minute f everyday we are faced with the choice to be in charge of our happiness or to put someone else in charge. The more you focus on loving yourself, the more love you will feel. Your parents can't do it for you, your friendz can't do it for you and your teachers can't do it for you either. You are the one responsible for your own happiness......



Posted By~ CaramelPrincess
(ILuvLT)